


Heterererererrororororororororoosedxysia8

by crackficswithfriends



Series: crack (the whip) [2]
Category: American Politics - Fandom
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mall AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 01:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10232771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackficswithfriends/pseuds/crackficswithfriends
Summary: Donald Trump has something to say to Shia LaBeouf about his business.





	

2 fuckheads work at opposite kiosks in a mall and one of them thinks they’re rivals but they sell completely different products

 

Charcters

Shai LeBeouf- meme. Just dO IT

Donald Trump - dumb ass shit, wannabe politician, actually a failure

 

“NO.” screamed an anger carrot from across the mall. 

 

Shai LeBeouf shook his head.  _ Fucking angry carrot needs to calm the fuck down. _

 

The angry carrot was none other than Donald Trump, a dickbag who ran the keychain kiosk a few stores down. Weirdo bitchbaby thought he was in competition with everyone in the mall, even if they didn’t sell the same product as him.  _ Seriously, I sell fecking s h a m p o o,  can he maybe chill?? _

 

He could not chill. Chill was not in his vocabulary. He had two different moods, anger and extreme anger. Donald glared angrily as yet another customer walked past his kiosk in favour of the shampoo kiosk that in no way needed to exist. At all.  _ Who even  _ uses  _ shampoo? I certainly though and my hair looks better than everyone's. My hair is the best. It could rule ‘Merica. _

 

As the day progressed over 9000 customers went to that stupid ass shampoo place and Donald felt his mood shifting into Extreme Anger™ 

 

_ Asshole bitch fuckfuckfUCK,  _ he thought.  

 

It was almost closing time, and Donald was at his wit’s end. Fuck shampoo. Fuck that shampoo guy. Fuck everything. He stormed out of his store, basically running to the shampoo place.

 

“Okay, listen here you little shampoo selling bitch ass fucKING DICKLORD!” he screamed, spitting in the face of the poor shampoo vender.

 

Shai was Shocked™, why was the tall anger of carrot keychain man yelling at him? He? Hadn’t? Done? Anything??? The fuck??????????

 

“Woah there buddy chum pal--” Shai tried to placate the  _ real  _ dicklord of the mall.

 

“No, YOU listen. I have been trying to make this mall great again but you’re dumb ass shampoo is ruining all my plans for gREATNESS how DARE YOU!”

“Sir, please--”

 

“I’M GONNA BUILD A WALL BETWEEN MY KIOSK AND YOUR BULLSHIT!” 

 

Spit flew everywhere and Shai’s poor shampoo was tainted from the man’s saliva.

 

That was the final straw.

 

“DO IT THEN.” Donald was shokced. “JUST DO IT.”

 

“MAYBE I WILL!”

 

“ALRIGHT, DO IT THEN.” 

 

“I CAN’T RIGHT NOW STUPID, I ONLY HAVE SHAMPOO BOTTLES TO MAKE IT WITH.”

 

“THEN MAKE A FUCKING WALL WITH SHAMPOO. IT ISN’T IMPOSSIBLE.” Shai yelled, then hesitated slightly, “JUST DO ME……………. IT. I MEANT IT.” 

 

_ Shit shit shit sh itshitshitSHITSHIT S H I T.  _ Thought Donald Trumo who was 100% not gay but was maybe a little turned on because he hasn’t had sex in 40000000000000+ years. No one loved him.

 

“BECAUSE, LIKE, OBVIOUSLY I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY ME. BECAUSE, I    L O V E    TO BE HETEROSEXUAL.” He continued yelling. Shit. He fucked up. Bad. What if the anger carrot became an anger carrot of  _ death  _ because he thought Shai was gay?! Shai actually was gay but he didn’t want the carrot to  _ know  _ that!

 

“I ALSO LOVE TO BE HETASEXUAL” Donald agreed because that was what straight men did. And he was one. Straight, that is. He wasn’t a man, he was a strong independent carrot.

 

“...You just mispronounced hetrosexual…” Shai noticed, hope blooming in his meme genes.

 

Donald huffed loudly, “I DID NOT. I CAN PRONOUNCE MY OWN SEXUALITY THANK YOU.” 

 

“Prove it,” dared Shai. Donald hesitated. “Do IT OR DO ME.”

 

Donald was  _ straight _ , he could do this, “Heterererererrororororororororoosedxysia8.” and then quietly, under his breath, “Nailed it.”

  
“Not quite,” smirked a v smug Shai LeBouef. “Not quite, but you can nail  _ me  _ ;) “


End file.
